How to prepare for home birth/water birth?

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The Historical Roots of Home Birth

Before I share my personal journey into the world of home birthing, it’s important to acknowledge that the practice of giving birth at home is not a recent trend but a return to traditional birthing methods. Historically, the home was the default birthing place for most women across the globe. Only in the 20th century did the shift toward hospital births become prevalent, influenced by advances in medical technology and shifts in societal norms. However, this shift was not without its controversies and challenges.

In many cultures, birthing at home is deeply embedded in community and family practices, supported by midwives who carry generations of wisdom about natural childbirth. These traditions emphasise the power and capability of the female body and the importance of a supportive and familiar environment during labor. This understanding of birth as a natural and communal event contrasts sharply with the medicalised approach that has become dominant in modern healthcare systems, where childbirth is often treated as a medical procedure.

Recognising the historical significance of home birth helps us appreciate its value and understand its resurgence today. Many are rediscovering the benefits of birthing in a familiar, comfortable setting surrounded by loved ones and a supportive care team. This approach honours traditional ways and embraces the idea that birth can be a personalised, empowering experience.

With this perspective, I found myself drawn to the idea of home birth, not as a rebellion against modern medicine but as a conscious return to a practice that honors the natural process of childbirth and women’s autonomy throughout history.

My Path That Led to Homebirth

As I delve into this incredibly important topic, I feel compelled to first share my path to becoming a home-birthing mom. My journey into motherhood began with relative ease when it came to conception, but we soon faced heartache. I was diagnosed with a genetic condition known as Robertsonian Balanced Translocation shortly after the loss of our first baby. After this painful experience, we were blessed with our rainbow baby boy. Despite a healthy and straightforward pregnancy, you can imagine the internal anxiety I felt about potentially losing him, too.

During the planning and preparation for his arrival, I knew home birth was an option but hadn’t seriously considered it. Like many in the modern Western world where I was raised, birth seemed shrouded in taboo. Without personal research, one might only see medicated, hospitalized births as the norm. However, the reality of my first birthing experience in a hospital was far from what I had hoped for. When my water broke, everything unfolded rapidly. We rushed to the hospital, where the car ride alone was agonizing. Upon arrival, despite my instincts telling me I was ready to deliver, I was initially dismissed by the midwives. They doubted that labor could progress so quickly with a first child. However, I was fully dilated, and they reluctantly allowed me to push—though not in the position I wanted. My desire for a water birth was ignored, and instead of listening to my body’s needs, I was placed on my back, which I had avoided throughout my pregnancy due to discomfort and breathing difficulties. This position led to complications, necessitating an episiotomy and vacuum assistance.

At that moment, despite the trauma, holding my baby felt like the only thing that mattered. Another miscarriage followed, and then, thankfully, another rainbow baby. This time, my approach was different. I was determined to understand my body, the birthing process, and my rights as a woman. Through education, I realized that a home birth would be the safest and best option for us. Convincing my husband took some time, given our first traumatic experience. However, a wonderful and supportive midwife reassured us, helping to pave the way for what would become a profoundly different experience.

My Home Birth Stories

Second Birth: First Home Birth
Looking back on my second pregnancy, I can see how much I’ve grown and matured since my first. During my first pregnancy, I was so impatient and anxious, but by the second, I had learned to trust my body and the natural process of childbirth. This time, I was much calmer and more confident, knowing that my body would birth this baby when it was ready.

I remember transforming the room into a beautiful, serene space and decorating the walls with positive affirmations and images. It was such a peaceful and inspiring setup. My midwives were terrific throughout the process, but I am incredibly grateful for my beautiful sister and the love of my life, who did everything in their power to make all I imagined happen. Love you both!

It was 41 weeks on a Wednesday early morning when I felt this would be the day. I had been losing little bits of my mucus plug in the previous days, but that night, a really big piece came out, accompanied by intense cramping. I told my husband to stay home from work that day, and we had a light breakfast before heading to my midwife appointment. My midwife checked me and found that I was already 3 cm dilated. At that appointment, I asked for a stretch and sweep because I was so fearful of being induced and ending up in the hospital. I wasn’t as educated about my rights regarding induction as I am now, but I knew I wanted to avoid it if possible. I thought to myself that I would only go into labor from this procedure if my baby and body were ready for it.

We then had some burgers for lunch—something I was craving—while I bounced on my ball to help things along. By 1 pm, my contractions had ramped up quickly, and I called the midwives to let them know that things were progressing. One of the best things about home birth is that I could follow my instincts and listen to my body, laboring around the house without interruptions or unnecessary checks. Once the midwives arrived, I lost track of time and turned inward, focusing intensely on my body. I remember getting into the pool; the warm water brought such relief from the cramping. It was still a new experience, so I just went with the flow.

There was a point when the midwives had a shift change, and I found myself surrounded by six of them. The feeling when my baby was born is something I can hardly put into words. It was the most empowering feeling I’ve ever experienced—raw, primal, and beautiful. I did it all without any pain relief or medication. I was in complete awe, unable to believe that I had done it. We had no rush, allowing the placenta to come out while we marveled at our beautiful new addition. We took pictures of the placenta still attached to our baby, a rare and educational moment even for the midwives. After we cut the cord, the team did all the basic checks on the baby and then headed home, leaving us to enjoy our newborn bubble as a family of four in the warmth of our home.

Third Birth: Second Home Birth

Even though we felt our family was complete after our second baby boy was born, we were overjoyed to discover we were expecting again. My first thought after the initial shock was how glad I was to experience a home birth once more. This time, I knew exactly what my goals were. I was even more confident and knew all my rights and my body’s capabilities. I wanted another unmedicated birth and was determined to do everything possible to protect my perineum, focusing on exercise and massage.

All my pregnancies were easy on me, except for sciatica pain. Being a busy mom who mostly homeschools, I had little time to dwell on my excitement. The days flew by, and soon, we were buying the pool and all the essentials for the home birth and the baby. As a third-time mom, I find only a handful of baby items genuinely essential.

As my due date approached, which was a Friday, I predicted that the previous day, a full moon, would be the day we met our little girl. That morning, precisely at 6 am, my husband brought in our coffee, and I felt a cramp. I knew labor was starting, though I tried to ignore it as long as I could. This time, I was patient, calm, and fully trusted my body. I knew it would birth my baby on its own and go into labor when it was ready. I didn’t plan on having any intervention or a stretch and sweep. I was confident that she would arrive with the help of the full moon, just as I had envisioned.

I told my husband to go to work, and I’d update him if things progressed. He left after 7, and by 9 am, I told him to come home because it was getting intense. I informed my sister, and my husband picked her up on his way back.

I prepared the last bits and made a hearty soup for after the birth. When they got home, my contractions were already relatively consistent, so I decided to lie down in bed while my sister played with the boys and my husband started getting the pool ready. As I rested, things slowed down, which I didn’t want, feeling ready and recharged. So, we decided to take the boys for a walk around our usual 3 km route. Straight after we left the house, my contractions were 3 minutes apart, and I had to stop and breathe through them. By the end of the walk, I had to breathe through them.

Back home, I lay down again around 1:45 pm. I got into the pool around 4:00 pm, and soon after, the first midwife arrived. She wasn’t used to home births and wanted me to get out for a vaginal examination, which I declined. She seemed surprised, not realizing I was in transition. Staying connected to my inner self, I found her suggestions unnecessary and upsetting. It was clear my body knew what it was doing, and I was so close to giving birth.

Our eldest son came to check on me, ensuring I was okay. Preparing them for this moment was crucial to me, educating them about the natural and beautiful process of childbirth. Around 4:45 pm, I felt the urge to push and went to the toilet, immediately breaking my water. I relied on my comb and breathing techniques for pain relief. Around this time, the rest of the midwives arrived, including one of them, who was there for Nathan’s birth. Her presence was comforting.

Back in the pool, I focused on breathing my baby out rather than pushing hard. Thanks to my preparations, she was born shortly after 5 pm without tears. She was perfect. After her birth, my mom brought the boys downstairs to meet her. They joined us in the pool, bonding with their new sibling before the placenta was delivered. Bennett cut the cord, a proud moment for him. The next day, we made placenta prints as keepsakes. My husband handled the pool, and the midwives left. I cleaned up while my parents held the baby. I took the boys to bed that night while my husband stayed with our newborn, and I later joined them.

Deciding If Home Birth Is Right for You

Choosing to have a home birth is a deeply personal decision that requires careful consideration of various factors. Here are some key points to think about:

Factors to Consider:

Medical History: Assess your health and any potential risks. Women with high-risk pregnancies may not be suitable candidates for home birth. It’s crucial to have an open discussion with your healthcare provider to evaluate your specific situation.
Environmental Factors: Consider your living environment. Do you have access to emergency medical services if needed? Is your home a place where you feel safe and comfortable? These factors are crucial for a successful home birth.
Personal Comfort: Your comfort and confidence in the birthing process play a significant role. If the idea of being at home feels right to you, where you can control your surroundings and be surrounded by loved ones, it may contribute positively to your birthing experience.

Importance of Consulting with Healthcare Professionals: Consulting with healthcare professionals is essential. In the UK, midwifery care is often provided through the NHS, and while you may not be able to choose your midwife team directly, you can still have detailed discussions about your birth plan and preferences. Hiring a doula can provide continuous support and advocacy throughout pregnancy and birth.

Personal Reasons That Influenced My Decision: For me, the decision to opt for home birth came after a traumatic hospital birth experience. Significant factors were the ability to control my environment, avoid unnecessary medical interventions, and be in a familiar, comforting space. I felt empowered and educated about my body and the birthing process, which gave me the confidence to pursue home birth. The support from a wonderful midwife and my family also played a crucial role in making this decision.

Preparing for Home Birth

Preparing for a home birth involves both mental and physical preparation to ensure a safe and comfortable experience.

Steps to Prepare Mentally and Physically:

Education: Educate yourself about the home birthing process. Read books, attend birthing classes, and join support groups. Knowledge is power, and understanding what to expect can reduce anxiety.
Mental Preparation: Practice relaxation techniques such as meditation, yoga, and breathing exercises. Positive affirmations and visualizations can help build confidence and calmness.
Physical Preparation: Maintain a healthy lifestyle with regular exercise and a balanced diet. Prenatal exercises, including pelvic floor exercises, can help prepare your body for labor. Consider perineal massage to reduce the risk of tearing during birth.

Choosing the Right Midwife and Support Team: In the UK, while you cannot typically choose your NHS midwife team, you can still discuss your preferences and birth plan with them. Building a good rapport with your midwives can help ensure they understand and respect your wishes. Additionally, you can hire a doula to provide continuous emotional and physical support throughout your pregnancy and birth. A doula can also advocate for your birthing choices, helping create a more personalized and supportive experience.

Preparing Your Home: Creating a Safe, Comfortable Space:

Birthing Space: Choose a comfortable, quiet room in your home where you feel most at ease. Decorate it with items that bring you peace and comfort, such as soft lighting, candles, affirmations, and photos.
Essential Supplies: Gather all the necessary supplies well in advance. This includes a birthing pool for a water birth, clean towels, waterproof sheets, a first aid kit, and any specific items your midwives recommend.
Emergency Plan: Have a clear plan in place for emergencies. Ensure you know the quickest route to the nearest hospital and have a bag packed in case you need to transfer.
Support Team: Arrange for your partner, family members, or friends to be present as needed. Ensure they understand your birth plan and how they can support you.

By preparing mentally, physically, and practically, you can create an environment that supports a positive and empowering home birth experience. Remember, the goal is to feel safe, supported, and confident as you bring your baby into the world in the comfort of your own home.

Essential Supplies for Home Birth

To help you, I made this homebirth checklist for you to download for FREE.

Preparing for a home birth involves gathering essential supplies to ensure everything you need is at hand for a safe and comfortable experience. Here’s a list of must-haves and some additional items that can enhance your comfort and relaxation during labor.

List of Must-Haves for the Birth:

Birthing Pool: A birthing pool is essential if you plan to have a water birth. Ensure it’s set up with enough time to fill it with water at the right temperature.
Sterilized Equipment: This includes sterile gloves, scissors for cutting the cord, and any other medical equipment your midwife recommends.
Absorbent Pads: These are useful for protecting surfaces and absorbing any fluids during labor and delivery.
Towels and Linens: Have plenty of clean towels and linens, including waterproof sheets to protect your bed or other surfaces.
First Aid Kit: Make sure you have a well-stocked first aid kit, including items like antiseptic wipes, bandages, and a digital thermometer.
Postpartum Supplies: Items like maternity pads, comfortable postpartum underwear, and nipple cream if you plan to breastfeed.

Comfort Items:

Pillows and Cushions: These help you find comfortable positions during labor.
Heating Pads or Hot Water Bottles: For soothing back pain or other discomforts.
Essential Oils and Diffuser: Scents like lavender or chamomile can help create a calming atmosphere.
Birthing Ball: Great for helping to move labor along and providing comfort.
Soft Lighting and Candles: To create a relaxing and serene environment.
Snacks and Hydration: To keep your energy up, have light, easy-to-digest snacks and plenty of water or electrolyte drinks in hand.
Electric Fan: To keep you cool and comfortable during labor.

Technology and Tools:

Apps: Apps like contraction timers can help you track your labor progress.
Music: Create a playlist of your favorite calming music or birthing affirmations to play during labor.
Camera or Phone: To capture the precious moments of your baby’s arrival.
Bluetooth Speaker: This is for playing music or relaxation tracks.

Additional Items:

Cord Tie: For tying off the umbilical cord.
Placenta Bowl: To hold the placenta after birth.
Large Ziplock Bag: This is for storing the placenta if needed.
Shower Curtain: To protect surfaces from fluids.
Mirror: To help you or your midwife monitor the progress of labor.
Comb for Pain Relief: Holding a comb can provide a distraction and relieve pain during contractions.

The Birth Process: What to Expect

Here’s a walkthrough of how the birth process went for me, along with tips on handling unexpected scenarios and involving your support team.

Walkthrough of the Birth Process: For my second home birth, I started feeling signs of labor early in the morning. After losing a large piece of my mucus plug and experiencing strong cramping, I told my husband to stay home from work. We had a light breakfast and went to my midwife appointment, where I was already 3 cm dilated. We had lunch, and by 1 pm, my contractions were intense and regular.

I labored around the house, following my instincts. The midwives arrived, and I got into the birthing pool. The warm water provided immense relief. As labor progressed, I turned inward, focusing deeply on my body. There was a shift change, and soon, I was surrounded by six midwives. When my baby was born, it was the most empowering feeling—raw, primal, and beautiful. I did it without any pain relief or medication. We had no rush, allowing the placenta to come out while we marveled at our lovely new addition. We took pictures of the placenta still attached to our baby, a rare and educational moment even for the midwives. After we cut the cord, the team did basic checks on the baby and then headed home, leaving us to enjoy our newborn bubble as a family of four in the warmth of our home.

Unexpected Scenarios: How to Stay Flexible and Calm:

Trust Your Body: Trust that your body knows what it’s doing. Staying calm and relaxed can help labor progress more smoothly.
Stay Informed: Educate yourself about the stages of labor and possible complications so you know what to expect and can make informed decisions.
Have a Plan but Be Flexible: Having a birth plan is important, but be prepared to adapt as necessary. Labor can be unpredictable, and flexibility is key.

Involving Your Partner or Support Team During Birth:

Communication: Keep open lines of communication with your partner and support team. Let them know your needs and preferences.
Hands-On Support: Your partner can provide physical support, such as massage, holding your hand, or helping you move into different positions. During my third birth, I really needed my husband to provide hip counterpressure, and it felt incredibly good.
Emotional Support: Having loved ones present can offer immense emotional support. Their encouragement and reassurance can help keep you calm and focused.
Practical Assistance: Your support team can also help with practical tasks, such as preparing the birthing pool, getting snacks, or managing other children.

Preparing for the birth process and knowing what to expect can create a calm and supportive environment for bringing your baby into the world.

Postpartum Care: Essentials for Recovery

Immediate Post-Birth Care for You and Your Baby:

Skin-to-Skin Contact: Immediately after birth, skin-to-skin contact helps regulate your baby’s temperature, heart rate, and breathing. It also promotes bonding and breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding Support: Initiate breastfeeding as soon as possible. It’s helpful to have a lactation consultant or a knowledgeable midwife to assist with any challenges. For us, the Medela Supplemental Nursing System (SNS) was a lifesaver, supporting our breastfeeding journey twice by providing a way to supplement at the breast and encourage milk supply. Organizations like La Leche League offer incredible support and resources for breastfeeding mothers. It’s also important to be aware that a tongue tie can significantly impact breastfeeding, leading to issues such as poor latch, pain, and inadequate milk transfer. If you suspect any difficulties, it’s wise to have your baby checked for a tongue tie early on, as addressing it promptly can make a huge difference in your breastfeeding experience.
Rest, Hydration, and Nourishing Food: After birth, it’s essential to rest, stay hydrated, and consume nourishing food. Labor is physically demanding, and your body needs time to recover.

Must-Have Items for Postpartum Recovery at Home:

Maternity Pads: Heavy-duty pads are necessary for postpartum bleeding, which can be quite heavy in the first few days.
Comfortable Postpartum Underwear: High-waisted, breathable underwear can provide support and comfort.
Perineal Care Products: Items such as a peri bottle, witch hazel pads, and cooling sprays can help soothe and heal the perineal area.
Nursing Supplies: Breast pads, nipple cream, a good nursing bra, and the Medela SNS if needed.
Pain Relief: Over-the-counter pain relievers, like ibuprofen, can help manage postpartum pain. Consult with your healthcare provider for recommendations.
Supportive Pillows: A nursing pillow and plenty of comfortable pillows for resting and feeding your baby are essential.

Emotional and Physical Health Tips Post-Birth:

Accept Help: Don’t hesitate to accept help from family and friends. Support is invaluable, whether it’s cooking meals, cleaning, or looking after older children.
Stay Active: Gentle exercises like walking can help your body recover and boost your mood. Avoid strenuous activities until you have fully healed.
Stay Hydrated and Nourished: Continue to drink plenty of water and eat nutritious meals to support your recovery and milk supply if breastfeeding.
Monitor Mental Health: Postpartum hormones can affect your mood. Be aware of the signs of postpartum depression and seek support if needed. It’s essential to talk about your feelings and get help early.

Reflections and Advice

What I Learned from My Experience: From my home birth experiences, I learned the importance of trusting my body and instincts. The support of a knowledgeable midwife and a loving family made a significant difference. Each birth taught me about patience, the power of natural birth, and the incredible strength within me.

Tips for Women Considering Home Birth:

Do Your Research: Educate yourself about home birth, the benefits, and potential risks. Knowledge will empower you to make informed decisions.
Prepare Your Space: Create a calm, comfortable, and safe environment for your birth.
Build a Supportive Team: Surround yourself with supportive people who respect your birth plan and can provide emotional and physical support.
Stay Flexible: While having a birth plan is good, be prepared for the unexpected. Trust the process and be open to changes if necessary.

Encouraging a Supportive Dialogue About Home Birth Choices: Starting a conversation about home birth can help normalize it as a valid option for many women. Share your experiences, listen to others, and provide supportive information. Encouraging a non-judgmental dialogue can help more women feel confident in their birthing choices.

Conclusion

We explored the historical roots of home birth, my personal journey and experiences, and essential preparations for home birth. We also covered the birthing process, postpartum care, and reflections on the lessons learned.

I encourage you to share your own birth stories, ask questions, and reach out for advice. Let’s continue the conversation about home birth and support each other in making informed, empowered choices.

Thank you for joining me on this journey. Remember, your birthing experience is your own, and you have the power to make choices that are right for you and your baby. Trust in your body, seek support, and embrace the beauty of bringing new life into the world.

Resources and Further Reading

Links to Professional Organizations Supporting Home Birth:

Royal College of Midwives (RCM)
Association for Improvements in the Maternity Services (AIMS)
Home Birth Reference Site
Doula UK

Books, Articles, and Other Resources:

Books:
- “Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth” by Ina May Gaskin
- “The Birth Partner” by Penny Simkin
- “HypnoBirthing: The Mongan Method” by Marie F. Mongan
- “Birthing from Within” by Pam England and Rob Horowitz
- “Natural Hospital Birth: The Best of Both Worlds” by Cynthia Gabriel
Books for Kids:
- “Hello Baby” by Jenni Overend
- “Mama, Talk About When Max Was Born” by Toni Olson
- “We’re Having a Homebirth!!” by Kelly Mochel
Articles:
- “Benefits and Risks of Home Birth” – Journal of Midwifery & Women’s Health
- “Home Birth After Hospital Birth: A Personal Story” – Birth Without Fear
Websites:
- Evidence Based Birth
- Birth Without Fear

Social Media and Community Resources:

Facebook: You can find local support homebirth groups on Facebook where you can connect with other parents, share experiences, and seek advice.
Instagram: There are many excellent doula profiles on Instagram that offer valuable insights, support, and inspiration for home birth. Some notable accounts include:
- @badassmotherbirther
- @painfreebirth
- @thenakeddoula
- @birthinginstincts
- @serenitylifedoula
- @debsagos
YouTube: These YouTube channels provide valuable information and support for pregnancy, birth, and postpartum care:
- Pregnancy and Postpartum TV
- Nourish Move Love
- Sarah Lavonne – Bundle Birth
- Mama Natural
- Liesel Teen – Mommy Labor Nurse

By using these resources, you can continue to educate yourself and feel supported in your decision to pursue a home birth. Connecting with communities on social media can provide additional support and a wealth of shared knowledge from others who have experienced home birth.

Preparing Siblings for Home Birth

Involving your other children in the home birth process can be a beautiful and educational experience. Here are some steps and tips on preparing your bigger kids for the arrival of a new baby at home. For us, it was a really easy transition, and both our boys were really open to it. Our eldest even cut the umbilical cord, which was such a proud parent moment.

Explaining the Process:

Age-Appropriate Discussions: Tailor the conversation about birth to your children’s age and maturity level. For younger kids, simple explanations about a baby growing in mommy’s tummy and how the baby will come out are sufficient. Older children can handle more detailed explanations about the birthing process.
Use Books and Videos: Reading books and watching age-appropriate videos about childbirth can help children understand what to expect. Books like “Hello Baby” by Jenni Overend or “Mama, Talk About When Max Was Born” by Toni Olson can be particularly helpful.
Answer Questions Honestly: Encourage your children to ask questions and answer them honestly. This helps alleviate any fears or misconceptions they might have.

Involvement in Preparations:

Include Them in Preparations: Involve your children in setting up the birthing space. Let them help decorate with affirmations or pictures, and show them where everything will be.
Role-Playing: Role-playing during birth can help children understand what will happen. Use dolls or toys to act out the birth and discuss the different roles everyone will have.
Assign Simple Tasks: Give your children simple, age-appropriate tasks during birth. These could include helping to fetch items, keeping quiet, or just being there to offer support.

Emotional Preparation:

Discuss Feelings: Discuss any emotions they might experience during the birth, such as excitement, nervousness, or even fear. Reassure them that all these feelings are normal.
Create a Birth Plan for Siblings: Develop a plan for what the siblings will do during the birth. This can include activities to keep them occupied and a designated adult to support them if needed.

During the Birth:

Prepare for Different Scenarios: Be prepared for different reactions. Some children might be very interested and want to watch, while others might be overwhelmed and prefer to stay in another room.
Have a Support Person: A trusted adult, such as a family member or friend, can focus on the siblings during the birth. This person can provide reassurance and answer any questions they might have.
Create a Safe Space: Ensure there is a safe and comfortable space for the siblings to retreat to if they feel overwhelmed. This could be a quiet room with some of their favorite toys or books.

After the Birth:

Introduce the New Baby: As soon as possible, involve the siblings in meeting the new baby. Encourage gentle interactions and show them how to touch and hold the baby safely.
Celebrate Together: Make the new baby’s arrival a family celebration. Include the siblings in the first family photo and have a small gift for them from the new baby to foster a positive connection.
Reinforce Their Role: Reinforce the siblings’ important role as big brothers or sisters. Highlight the special bond they will share with the new baby and how they can help in caring for the new family member.

By preparing your children for the home birth, you can help them feel included and excited about the arrival of their new sibling. This preparation also helps to create a positive and supportive environment for the entire family during this significant life event.